SENSITIVITY · RELATIONSHIPS

Why do I feel different around different people?

With one person, you may feel open and free. With another, you become quiet or tense. It does not necessarily mean you do not know who you are. The people we meet affect us.

We are not closed systems

We take in emotion, pressure, pace, confidence, fear, desire, and direction from our surroundings. Different people can bring out different parts of us. Sometimes the effect is so strong that we immediately say: “This is me. I am anxious. I am afraid. I want this. This is my direction.”

Then the person leaves and the feeling changes too. That can be an important moment: not everything we felt began inside us.

It does not mean you are fake

We change within relationships. That is natural. The difficulty begins when every change feels like proof that we have no “real self.” You can feel different in different environments and still be deeply connected to yourself. The connection starts with distinguishing an experience from an instruction to act.

What can this look like?

Around an anxious person, you may feel you have to act quickly. Around someone confident, their direction may suddenly feel right for you. Around an angry person, you may want to do anything to restore calm. Around someone with a lot of energy, you may keep going long after your body is tired. The experience is real, but it does not always mean you need to act on it.

How can you notice what is yours?

• How did I feel before I met this person?
• What changed in me when they arrived?
• Does the feeling remain when I am alone again?

Another useful question is: who do I become around this person, and do I like being that version of myself?